oh man... I was so angry at one point when I was at burkewood today not because of anything about the place or the people though they were all kinda furstrated by that point because Brian was absolutely swamped. Larry was just kind of coming around every once in a while and overseeing stuff and Greg would come in with Larry. Jim would come down and talk and stuff once in a while I ran things up to Stoney like 2-3 times. and otherwise I just did archive stuff for the music project. got like 15-16 done. but. It's more than Fini did.. but. yeah. apparently Brian's getting really annoyed with him. but who knows he could be annoyied with me but he seems not to be. at least so far. and I felt really bad for Matt today because he's finished like everything up and they have to redo an entire project. or well, the entire video for a project because they want different cuts and not the same cuts like they originally said. but. hopefully they won't be there until 2 tonight.

but back to the point. my anger. it was just at people being stupid. and. ugh. stemcells and choice and plan b. well. ok so it was triggered by me reading the school newspaper. blah blah normal stuff north south game tomorrow, the new food thing. some new payment thing, some stuff about parking. and I don't know for some reason reading the Plan B articles just mad me mad. or. moreso. the people's reactions and things. ahhh.. I don't even know. it might have been tiredness from today and feeding into that. and just me getting really mad and. taking it out by doing french homework and archiving things. and listening to Matt do his angry rant. I almost wish I'd stayed later because some stupid fucking car was behind me and beeping at me when it was fucking clear that I was backing in and that makes me angry at my neighbors (not like the close ones the lady probably livesl ike behind the jughandle thing or around the corner but still. and there was that I was reading Le Monde when I was there and looking at news and stuff ant things just kept pissing me off and I'm just in a really weird mood right now.

agh. I could freaking shoot myself. not really. came home. watched weeds. had dinner. going to run off in a bit to watch GA..

but the thing is. like other than that. I'm really cool. except like. randomness. and apps. but I mean. I had an absolutely awesome night last night and everything otherwise has been ok. though I really do need to crack down on Euro in the next 4-5 days. because Major Opp is on Tuesday.

Today. before burkewood. I'm trying to remember.. brought new gym clothes. played pickleball against charlie cheng and his partner. though I think they're getting annoyed with us. well. actually we played with them today cause Aneesha wanted to be on Charlie's team and I was on.. his partner. whos name is unknown's team.. w/e. euro was before that. that was.. talking about homosexuality and the male gender somethingrather... in the renaissance. which was an alright conversation. and after gym. math.. which. I got called to Cook's office for because of choir lab. it'll be nice if that happens every week. missing a portion of math class. also. Cook's office is really on top of things so far this year. it's a little worrisome.. I don't like this whole it being only a few weeks into school and there already being people with calls home about cuts and all that. not that I got one cause the choir lab thing can almost always get you out of trouble. but. I think Julian who went in before me got one.. and.. well. that sucks.

Lunch was edible, went singing in the choir room after. then choir then AP Français. and then passport. which consised. of.. reading more native american stories.

tommor.. probablt NvS game. saterday. Nextfest and maybe something later, and sunday. Hopefully something during the day and then teep and sfp. and monday. studying. hanging out. something.

also.. tomorrowI get to go to school late.. that'll be nice.. now.. it's time for GA. and.. looking over euro. and.. stuff..

that. was the most effing stressful half hour or so that I've had in a long time. so. afterschool. was good. rathergood. then I got on the bus. and I begin to look for my cellphone. just in case. and then. I can't find it. like I look ALL through my bag. and go insane because I cant find it while I'm on the bus. and. on top of all that. my ipod starts doing that stupid thing that it does where it wont play it'll just like shuffle really fast. and. I was I dont know. on top of everything like verge of tears-ing. on the bus. on the up side! my ipod started playing the fight song.. adding to my angry mood. but it's a really good song to be pissed off to. but I was like.. amazingly angry by the end of the bus ride. and my phone is one of the very few things I'll get seriously angry about. and the other things we just wont go into.

so. otherly. good things about today. I have a 95 in math. but that's not actually that good. cause I'm kinda pissed off at myself because if I'd done one more homework assignment I'd have a 97. but that's just me being stupid. I got a 91 on my major opp. our french video was.. special. Lunch was really good today. physics was pretty laid back except for our class being. stupid. afterschool. hung out in the library. then Rahul and Saadh and people went to track and I went home. and. now I'm here.

so. I'm gonna go relax or something..

I feel really really desensitized rght now. I dont know. that's not even the right word. I dont know. numb maybe. just. not good all around. I hate getting cut off mid-conversation. you have no idea whow much that pisses me off. to the point that I could cry from anger. and I hate when there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. when there're thingts that I need to hear before I finish a conversation and things that I need to have resolved. and it just pisses me off.

that having been said. I'm I dont know. repressing that seriously. cause that was just basically an explanation od it. but. repressing is good. today. I dont even remember today. I just remember a lot of freaking out about lab. and being upset. and. today was supposed to be a good day. but it just wasnt. it was terrible. and I hate that. afterschool.there were things that I should have been doing. things thatI didnt do. tomorow there's jsa. I'll do. I should go. I want to go. I dont know. I dont want to do anything right now. I just want to stay at home. and not deal with this. and thenafter afterschool I walked to mom's office. interesting walk. in which conversations were interrupted. stayed there a good 2 hours at least. and just got home a few minutes ago. and mom wants me to eat. and I dont want to.

I'm just going to find some angry music. and listen to it. I dont know. maybe not even angry music. but I was listening to sondre. and the calmness of it angered me. I dont know. I'm done here.

I wish I was taking SAT's this weekend.

then. I would be stuck here. and not (instead of babysitting because Nick and Kaylee're going to be out of town) sitting around doing absolutely nothing. and. here. it sounds like I''m completely bitching. but right now. is one of those stupid moments where I'm actually getting angry that I'm going to kick myself over later. but. there's no wireless. on monday. I dont have free minutes. I will get bitched at about the phone bill this month. I cant even get any studying done this week. hopefully. I can just hole myself up in the daybed room. and. I dont freaking know. study for sat's. the prince of egypt soundtrack isnt doing shit for my mood. one song was. but then. things went down hill. I need more angry music.

damn.. this is a depressing soundtrack. all this plague ish. and everything. just depressing. I forgot how long it's been since I watched this. I should rent it sometime.

otherwise. today was alright. tomorow gym first period. but. downfalls.. lab. ew. 20 extra minutes with bondonna. kill me with a spoon. art of the essay essay. so scared about that. cause. my grade in that class NEEDS to be better after the first essay.. not a good thing. math test. eh. not so hard. just unpleasant. and. I havent talked to chapin in a while. I was supposed to have a lesson on monday. but I forgot. and she didnt remind me. and. I feel bad. cause I just keep getting furthur and furthur away from her favorites list. which puts me furthur and furthur from getting into the musical. but whatever. It's greace.I can get in chorus at least. the favoritism system here just pisses me off. but it wont change.

I need to watch alladin before bed. and get happier.

warning. incoming just sliightly angry elise.

I'm pissed off. honestly. because of something I probably shouldnt be pissed off about. but I have good reason. because I'm the only one out of my cousins who goes to Syracuse lately. and that annoys the hell out of me. joe's lucky as hell. he gets to go chill with his "friend" think in rochester for the week. good for him. and I could go up. and what. chill with Jonathan. and kaylee. and nick. and sophia. and babysit again. as always. that's all I do. Joe missed coming last time because it was his homecoming. seriously. I should have just stayed at Kat's house or Caitlyn's house. but no. I wanted to be the good family member and go up and miss my freaking homecoming. to do. nothing. to sit. in a tree. and sleep. and the most I could do this weekend would be to visit syracuse university campus. not anything else. just. sit around the house being bored. hoping for a phonecall. I dont even know if I'll get radio reception up there. and that'll annoy me. and my parents refuse to leave me alone here for the entire weekend. and. I doubt I'll get anyone to put me up. but it doesnt matter anymore. it just annoys me that I'm the only person that actually goes every weekend my parents go up. I should have done sports. or even better. marching band. then I could never do anything. I could never leave. I'd be stuck here for sporting events and social shit. all the time. why cant I just stay home because I have to study. It's not like I get any done. as long as we dont go up president'a day weekend. I wont be so happy.

so. I'm going to stop being angry now. because. there is no point. and. I need to stop. otherly. I'm hungry.. I have slightly wet hair. Lost was. cliffhanger-y. have to see veronica mars tomorow. jsa tomorow. still have math homework to do. and. not much else.

school was pretty good today. gym was fun. Rahu switched in. capture the flag in gym. pulling flags is rediculously amusing. except when it gets to the point where people pull other people's pants down. then. it just gets scary. physics. we had a sub and it was nice. except for that I screwed  up about 4 graphs before finally getting it right. hopefully. and therefore didnt finish the assignment. if bondonna bitches at me. wont be happy. afternoon classes were alright I did awesome (well not awesome but 96) on the ch 9 minor opp! and I have an 89.5 in AP US! so recidulously happy about that. if I can keep that up for my DBQ. I will be sooo happy.who knows about all the other classes. but  participate in art of the essay now. so that's good.  dont know. and I just had an apple for dinner. I'm done writing.